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The Little Guide To Premarital Counseling

The Little Guide To Premarital Counseling
Premarital counseling is a type of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage. Premarital counseling can help ensure that couples have a strong, healthy relationship giving them a better chance for a stable and satisfying marriage.

Premarital counseling can also help them identify weaknesses that could become bigger problems during marriage.

Marriage is one of the hardest human relationships to maintain. Although the couples have their differences, they learn to live with them.

Premarital counseling offers an opportunity for couples to talk about their beliefs and significant issues with a trained practitioner facilitating these discussions prior to getting married.

Research indicates premarital counseling reduces divorce. Pre-marital counseling brings topics that couples don’t discuss in your courtship days.

There is a lot to life than romance, and this counseling helps them understand each other more and how their future will be together.

How it helps:
It helps set expectations at the beginning. The couples need to figure out what their expectations are from the marriage.

It helps them to communicate better in marriage. Communication is extremely important for a good relationship. The counseling will help them start the communication in the right way.

It helps them understand each other’s interests and beliefs. They have got to learn each other’s interests and beliefs ranging from hobbies to charities, from political views to religious stands.

It helps them understand each other’s views on marriage and family. They need to understand how the two of them look at their impending marriage and its future.

By talking to each other and the counselor about their likes and dislikes, plans and goals, they minimize the chances of conflict in future. In fact, the counseling sessions will help them figure out ways to resolve conflicts if they arise.

As a matter of fact, couples who do receive pre-marital counseling have a far less chance of having their marriage end in divorce. The pre-marriage counselor will help one learn the differences on the important issues of marriage and guide them through steps to communicate about them and learn how to work through their conflicts.

Pre-marital counseling sessions will cover the following topics:
1. Marriage Expectations.

2. Personality Issues.

3. Communication.

4. Conflict Resolution.

5. Financial Management.

6. Leisure Activities.

7. Sexual Relationship.

8. Children and Parenting.

9. Family and Friends.

10. Roles in Relationship.

11. Spiritual Beliefs.

12. Couple Closeness.

13. Family Closeness.

14. Couple Flexibility.

15. Family Flexibility.

16. Division of chores.

17. Religion.

18. Living arrangements.

19. Commitment anxiety.

The time spent on each of the above topic will vary depending on the unique needs and desires of each couple.

I normally meet my clients once a week, and sessions are 50 minutes in length. In our first session together, I will learn as much as possible about their relationship, including how they met, how they got to where they are now, and anything else they think is important for me to know. In the first session a questionnaire assessing relationship strength and growth areas are given to them. It is completed with traditional pencil and paper at the completion of the first session. The survey is designed to identify their similarities, differences, personal strengths, personal weaknesses and expectations of their relationship.

Through the questionnaire I explore their relationship strength, growth areas and weaknesses. I use the next that is the second session to meet individually with each partner, to give them the feed back and also discuss about some difficult areas.

The third and fourth sessions will also focus on the results based on the questionnaire as well as other issues as they arise. This is a valuable opportunity to focus on difficult areas and remove “surprises” from the relationship after the marriage.

I review essential relationship skills and practice them between sessions; and actively participate in the development of an ongoing plan to help them protect their love.

Premarital counseling should be completed 6 months prior to the wedding if possible, allowing the relationship a chance to shift and adjust as a response to the discussion in the counseling.

As a counselor my goal is to give the couple the experience of working through difficulties together and mentally preparing them for some of the challenges of marriage.

The idea behind premarital counseling is to strengthen the relationship before tying the knot so that an indiviual will be fully equipped to deal with the challenges and conflicts that every couple inevitably faces at some point in their marriage.

Here the things covered by the counselor are
1] Compatibility - With your spouse and future in-laws.

2] Expectations - About work-family balance, careers, household responsibilities, time spent together.

3] Communication - With your spouse, parents, in-laws.

4] Conflict Resolution - How to deal with big and small problems, financial matters, constant bickering, meddling in-laws, etc.

5] Intimacy and Sexuality - Frequency of sexual relations, making time, making love versus just sex.

6] Long-Term Goals - Personal, family, and career.

Marriage preparation will teach an indiviual and his fiancée how to deal with issues so that they don't become toxic to their relationship. But counseling isn't only about identifying problem areas, it's about celebrating strengths as a couple as...

a] It can reduce the risk of divorce by up to thirty percent.

b] It can lead to a significantly happier marriage.

c] It can help reduce the stress of planning a wedding.

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