Divorce Counseling

Divorce Counseling is a type of counseling that helps a couple through the period of divorce and separation.

The main objective of divorce counseling is to help each partner cope with the entire process of divorce.

Divorces are on the rise, especially in cities. It is a disturbing statistic that nearly half of all marriages ends in a divorce in America.

In India and most other countries, divorces are definitely increasing in number. In such a scenario, divorce counseling has grown in importance.

There are many reasons for a couple to file for divorce. The common reasons are infidelity or cheating, financial issues, lack of love or emotional support, difference in opinions, domestic abuse, unrealistic expectations, temper tantrums of one of the partners, fights between the couple, etc.

With the rise in divorce rates comes the simplicity and ease of getting a divorce these days. Just file a case at the divorce court, attend the hearing on the given dates, and get your divorce after all the terms and conditions are discussed and agreed upon by both partners.

It is said by many divorce counselors that usually the ones who suffer most during and after a divorce are the children. They are the ones who find it most difficult to cope with the changes and adjustments in the home. Divorce can lead to long-term issues, illnesses and disorders. Depression being the most common one.

It has been observed that most divorces occur during the initial years of marriage itself. Once the honeymoon phase is over, the couple may start finding it difficult to meet the expectations of each partner.

The amount of quality time that they spend together might decrease significantly. This makes it difficult to interact and discuss potential issues openly.

With social media and smartphones playing a key role in communication today, there is a greater possibility of misunderstandings, miscommunication and poor communication among couples. The responsibilities of each spouse in fulfilling their roles as an active partner gets affected by the burdens of work and finances.

These days, partners tend to argue with each other much more than the decades gone by. There is a noticeable change in the communication between partners/spouses despite the rapid advancements in communication technologies.

The ego of the married partners can cause conflicts in daily life. There may be power struggles between both spouses adding a further strain on the marriage. Marriage counseling can help in restoration of faith and love between the partners.

The married couple must try to do their best to save the marriage. After all, if they actually loved each other then the married relationship is certainly worth saving.

If nothing else works and marriage counseling fails then divorce is usually the only viable option remaining for the married couple. The divorce counselor must help the couple through each stage of the divorce so that both of them can cope with the process better.

The first stage of divorce is often the pre-divorce decision stage. This is the stage when both spouses realize that their marital problems are growing and divorce might be the best option to end the marriage and move on without each other.

The next stage is the decision stage. This is when both partners decide that it is time to file for divorce. The role of the divorce counselor is most important during this stage.

The counselor must give both partners the opportunity to discuss things with each other in the counseling room and come to the final decision collectively.

Once the decision is made to get divorced, there might be an increase in arguments and fights at home. Loneliness may start during this stage. The couple who is still married might end up sleeping alone, living separately and even stop talking to each other completely.

The divorce lawyers and counselors play a key role during this stage. They will ensure that they pass on messages and help the couple communicate with each other through them.

Next comes the mourning stage of the divorce. During this phase, there might be an increase in loneliness, separation, depression, guilt, frustration and low self-confidence of the couple. This is when divorce counseling helps the husband and wife cope with the breakup.

After the mourning stage, comes the stability stage. One or both spouses finds new leisurely pursuits to keep themselves busy. There is hardly any hostility towards the other spouse during this stage. The partners come to terms with the impending divorce and the new life that waits for them after the divorce.

A crucial component of divorce counseling is for the counselor to identify the main reasons of the couple filing for divorce. This is important in order to avoid the same mistakes being repeated in the future.

It is common for divorcees to have problems in their next marriage too. The divorce counselor attempts to empower each partner to move on with their life and form healthy relationships once again.

Communication must be done in a civil manner during each stage of the divorce. The role of a divorce counselor is to help both the spouses to communicate with each other openly, sincerely and freely. The counselor must be skilled enough to handle arguments and fights that might happen during the counseling session itself.

After the divorce is finalized, the divorce counselor's main objective is to help the couple cope with feelings of sadness, grief, loneliness and depression as a result of the breakup.

Life after divorce can be difficult. It is always comforting to talk to a counselor who is a good listener, unbiased and non-judgmental.

Even if a spouse is happy with the divorce, it remains important for him or her to grieve properly. Sometimes, the underlying feelings and emotions are trapped deep inside the heart making it difficult to be expressed in the conscious state.

Divorce counseling makes it easier to move on with your life. A good divorce counselor must be able to provide comfort and support to the client. The counselor must be able to help the client find suitable ways to cope with single life again.

The uncoupling of partners can be overwhelming. The emotional, mental, financial and physical demands can lead to stress, frustration, anger and depression.

When these negative feelings remain for a prolonged period of time then it can cause mental disorders and other serious problems. One of the leading causes of suicide is a breakup or divorce.

Divorce counseling helps the married couple separate in a cordial, healthy, civil and constructive way. The counselor plays the role of a mediator and also helps in forming coping strategies after the divorce is finalized.

The counseling sessions must be held in a safe, comfortable, secure and neutral environment. There must be separate seating arrangements provided if necessary and separate counseling sessions with each partner if the case arises. Confidentiality must be maintained and at no costs should a counselor support or hold biases for one spouse over the other.